Friday, December 28, 2007

Wondering...

Lately, it seems as though all I think about is Rwanda. I think about all the things that we need to get done before our trip. All the things I need to learn about the process of adopting. I fight the urge to get overwhelmed by it all constantly.

But more than anything I think about our son. My sweet little Nathan, whom I have know in my heart for so many years now, but have yet to behold his little face, to hold him to me, to kiss that sweet little forehead. I wonder if he has been conceived yet, who his parents are, how he will come into this world and how he will come into mine. I wonder about the day we find out that he has been found and matched to us. How will we be told? And I wonder a lot of things that I will probably never know, like what his real birthday will be and what I will be doing that moment he takes his first breath. Will I know it deep in my heart or will that day seem like every other?

Oh, and how I wonder about his birthmom. Not just who she is, but what is going on in her life that will bring her to the point of giving up her son. I wonder if she will love or resent him. I wonder if she will cry when she lets go of him or breathe a sigh of relief. I wonder if she knows God and I find myself often praying that this sweet baby will somehow draw her to Him.

My mind fights being overwhelmed by the process and my heart fights being overwhelmed by the truth of it all, the lives that are involved, the pain, the tears, and for me and hopefully before too long, my son, pure joy.

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Merry Christmas!

Well, our Christmas extravaganza is almost over...only tonight with my siblings left. I wanted to get some pictures up of Christmas morning at our house though. It was the first time that we did the whole thing at our house. I even made the entire Christmas brunch! (Which actually turned out really good.) It was just with my folks and grandparents, but it was really fun.

Anyway, so here are a bunch of pics...I can't believe it was Lucy's first Christmas.


All the babies in their matching jammies!


Here's a picture of the food...it was better in person.


The girls enjoyed it (well, the coffee cake at least)!


The older girls enjoying a book together and my sweet little Lu.


Elise and Adele with their new babies and Lucy enjoying the ribbon from her present.


And last, but certainly not least...this picture of Lucy just makes me grin from ear to ear.
What a sweet little baby!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Elise, Always a Stitch (or 6!)

Well, we have now officially had our first ER visit. Two nights ago, Anthony was giving the girls a bath and I had come down with Lucy to dress and feed her. I had just finished getting her ready for bed, when Anthony comes flying down the stairs with a screaming Elise wrapped in a towel. She had slipped while trying to get out of the tub and, at first, we thought she had just really bit her tongue badly, but as I was cleaning her up, I discovered that her chin was split open.

So, I took her to the emergency room and she ended up getting six stitches. It was so pitiful. She was being a really good sport as we headed over to the hospital, although she did keep telling me that she didn't want to go to the doctor's. I just kept trying to chat with her about things to keep her mind off it. I took her to the hospital that all the girls (and my niece) were born in, and as we were walking in, she even asked me if she was going there "to be born". So sweet.


Anyway, so she got clingier and clingier when we got there, which was fine until it was time to start the procedure. Everything went really downhill from there. They strapped her down in a "papoose", which is basically a board with velcro straps on it to keep the kiddos from moving around. It was awful. She kept screaming that she wanted to "go home right now" and that she wanted me to hold her...that was the part that always teared me up. I did my best, reaching underneath the straps to try and grab her hand, but she was wrapped in a sheet too, so i could never fully get to her. I stayed as close as I could and tried to keep her calm, but it was no use. It got even worse when they had to put shots of lidocain into her chin to numb it. She just got so worked up that as soon as her chin was numb, she fell asleep.

I thought I was going to get away with not having to make these kinds of ER runs with a house full of little ladies. Oh well. I feel as though I handled things pretty well really. I tend to rise to the occasion and then crash (on Anthony) after the fact.

I wonder what other little adventures are in our future...

Sunday, December 9, 2007

The process begins...

I'm taking a quick break to write down some of my thoughts. I've spent a huge chunk of today looking all over the internet about adoption in Rwanda. It's kinda overwhelming. It seems so easy and then two minutes later it seems impossible. We're praying that we make the right connections and are really able to get some footwork done this spring when we go there so that when we do take the steps to adopt things will run smoothly.

It's amazing. The thought of doing this...the reality of the others who have done this...our drive to begin to learn French (I really hope we stick with it!)...just the whole thing. God is truly amazing. I hope this blog ends up being full of stories of our adoption and our sweet baby who is already so completely in our hearts.