Thursday, February 14, 2008

Something to Hold

I'm thankful that today is Valentine's Day, simply because I get to go out tonight with my sweet man. I feel as though my head has just been spinning lately and I just need an evening of good food, sweet conversation, and maybe a little footsie under the table.

The adoption stuff seems to continue to move slowly forward. I'm feeling my way along in the dark and while I feel as though we are making some good headway, at the same time I feel as though there is just an immense hill left for us to climb. I wish that I could have someone to sit down with and just make me a list and say that I need this, this and this, and this is how I get them. I have little resources here and there, but for the most part its been a lonely journey so far.

Something that I have actually enjoyed being able to do recently is to write the letter to the minister in Rwanda that will decide if we get to adopt. It just felt so good to write our heart out. It helped remind me of why we are doing all of this in the first place.

I think I need to just take a minute to think about my son...

Lately I've really wanted to buy him something. I little outfit or stuffed animal. Something tangible. Something that I can hold that will be his. I want to set his crib up and get things all ready for him, but I know I can't get ahead of myself. Plus, who knows how old the sweet little man will be! I just...I want to feel more connected to him. I feel as though that will bring me some much needed peace and hope. Soon enough though...I really trust the Lord in that...it will be soon enough.