Thursday, March 31, 2011

An Unexpected Bend...

So, this has been some week and I have to tell you, my emotions have been all over the place...

On Tuesday, after almost five years of working there, my husband's job at our church was eliminated. Budget cuts... We were completely shocked and if I am honest, quite hurt by the whole thing. We love our church and it is a huge part of who we are. We are involved there in so many ways outside of his job. And now there is one of those painful breaks in life that we aren't sure how to heal.

How do we go back? How do we walk in those doors and see those people that hurt us? How do we show them grace and guard our hearts from bitterness? How do we love them even though we don't feel loved? I don't know. I only know that Anthony and I have never shied away from challenges and will press forward. We will forgive and love even when we'd rather say some harsh words (okay, that's mostly my desire). God will see us through this...we trust in that.

On the job front...we are certainly not lacking in hope for the future and had already been taking some steps in a new direction before we knew of the church's decision. And we have found a lot of comfort in that. I'll keep you posted.

So, all that to say...we'd love some prayers and really appreciate kind words. The silence, for me, is always the most painful part. And for those of you who know us well, thanks for loving us and believing in us and what God is doing through us. We are so thankful for you all.

Monday, March 28, 2011

This day...

It is always a bittersweet one, this day. March 28th. It's a day that I always find myself reflecting on my past. Because, you see, today is her birthday. Today is the birthday of my childhood best friend.

There are really almost no memories that I have of my childhood that don't include her. We were inseparable. We were close neighbors and spent every moment we were allowed to together. She was the closest thing that I ever had to a sister and I still deeply and profoundly love her.

But something happened and to this day that relationship is one of the greatest mysteries and wounds in my life. So many years have past and my heart still aches whenever I think of her.

You know, we had one of these necklaces. I gave it to her in the 3rd or 4th grade, more than 20 years ago today. And as I look at it now it feels less like a silly little girl's thing to do and more like a tangible reminder of how it was once so whole and is now so painfully broken.

And if I am truly honest, I still have a couple of dreams about her every year. Dreams where we are reconciled, when all the confusion of our preteens is cleared and we are able to love each other as dear friends once again. Those dreams will probably never come true, I know that. But I'll never quit hoping. I'll never quit loving. And I'll never quit wishing her a quiet Happy Birthday on this day.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

These Two

One of the best things about being a parent is seeing your kids interact. Watching them develop little relationships is priceless and worth every extra load of laundry and occasional fight over a red crayon. (There is another one right next to it, so why must they fight over THAT one?)

Adele and Elise have always had a sweet little relationship that I have loved watching over the years. In part, I think that I wonder at this wonderful thing called sisterhood, that I have never had and have definitely longed for. In fact, just the other day my mom genuinely apologized for never giving me a sister...there is just something special about that relationship.

There have been other relationships that have formed over the years by our four. Elise and Lucy tend to have similar loves of all things dramatic and girly and love playing together. Similarly, Adele and Nate love to tackle and run around and I often hear myself saying that thing that my mom always said that I thought I never would..."Somebody's going to be crying."

But of all the relationships so far, I have to say Nathan and Lucy's is the one that absolutely overwhelms me.

You have to understand. These two LOVE each other. They fight occasionally, but it is really not that often. They play and play and are so sweet to one another. They look out for each other and are often coming to me on the other's behalf (and not in a tattle-tale way). Lucy is motherly towards Nate eventhough she is more than an inch shorter and he seems to love every moment of it. And they are both so very goofy and funny together and they keep each other (and definitely us!) in stitches all day.

But the truth is that I think the thing that makes this all even sweeter is their striking differences. And they are SO different. Lucy plays with a certain control over her every move and Nate throws caution to the wind and his body all over the floor and couch and anything else. His humor is physical with funny faces and strange walks. Hers is a dry humor...her comments and jokes are so clever.

And then, well, there is the color thing.

You have to understand the hopes that we had for our family when we chose to adopt transracially. You have to understand how we dreamt that our children would not be colorblind, but rather that they would deeply love their differences and embrace each other not inspite of, but because of what made each other unique. You have to understand that we wanted them to experience a vision of God's family being of people of all sorts of colors and backgrounds within their own home. And you have to understand that when I see my pale little blonde-haired, blue eyed daughter and my chocolate colored, deep brown-eyed son with his curly black fro...when I see them love each other without reservations, I feel as though not only are they learning this, but I am learning it. And it is profound, and it is beautiful, and it is a picture of what FAMILY is supposed to be...

Thursday, March 17, 2011

A Quiet House

So, what do I do when Anthony and all the kids leave me for a few hours in the middle of the day, alone in the house?

Well, I did organize my office has desperately needed my attention and is still not yet finished...

BUT I also did a little of this...

AND a little of this...

And it was GLORIOUS.

Thursday, March 10, 2011


So, it is birthday season in the Dummermuth household, but before I can post anything about any of the girls' birthdays, I MUST FINALLY post the pictures from Nate's 3rd birthday...BACK IN NOVEMBER!!

Better late than never I guess...

Here is the train cake that the girls and I made for Nate's birthday party.

Since his birthday is right around Thanksgiving we were all home (no school, no work), so we went out to Fritz's for lunch. Can't beat greasy burgers delivered by train! is one of his gifts...are you noticing a theme?!

We did throw in some Lightning McQueen inspired cupcakes to finish off the day. Can you believe our boy is three?! Unbelievable. I'd say Happy Belated Birthday to the little man, but he is a little annoyed that he is the only kiddo who doesn't have a birthday right now. = ) it done!

Thursday, March 3, 2011

This is new...

So, I have never changed the way that this blog looks even though I have desperately wanted to for such a long time. The font alone has been driving me crazy, as I hate using common fonts for anything.

All this means that I basically spent entirely too much time today tweeking it. And while it looks better, it is far from perfect and I have a feeling I will be messing with it again soon. I wish that I knew how to make it truly lovely, a real expression of who I am, but alas, my Art History degree did nothing to teach me about web design. Oh well.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Waterfront property?

So, there has been a lot of snow this winter and on Sunday night there was a lot of rain...what does that mean for us? Apparently it means that there can be a flash flood in our backyard resulting in a big, muddy, rocky mess...awesome.

I couldn't get the video of the flash flood to work, but here are some (not quite as impressive) pictures of what was left behind...