|and yes, i spent entirely too long drawing this up|
So here's the thing. Anthony is almost finished with school (hallelujah!), but currently I am still going at this parenting thing on my own three nights a week.
Tonight was one of those nights and was, of course, also one of the busiest nights we have with the kids. By the time the older girls got home from school at 4pm, it was a mad rush to get homework done, nurse Matthias, and get all five kids in the car to head off to Adele's softball practice. Matthias had decided that his afternoon nap wasn't really necessary, so about 30 minutes into the practice he began to lose his mind.
Practice was another 45 minutes of me trying to watch Adele, keep Matthias from a complete breakdown, and a whole lot of...
"Ready. Set. Go."
"No you can not drink any more from Adele's water bottle."
"Nathan, do not get that close to the ball field."
"It is really not that hot. What are you going to do when it is summer!?"
"Not much longer."
"Oh my word, you all are getting so dirty!"
...to the other three.
Practice ended at 6pm and we raced for the car and headed home. Then it was laying Matty down, chicken nuggets for the others, showers and finishing homework, getting Matty back up and feeding him, prayers and bedtime...all by 7:30.
I came downstairs and had a beer.
It's not unusual for people to say something along the lines of, "I don't know how you do it" to me. And oh how I hate it.
I am no Super Mom. Yeah, I have five kids and keep them alive. I even really nail it sometimes and deserve at the very least a margarita for my superb parenting. But...
- I yell, too loud and too often.
- I struggle with being patient.
- I'm not great at keeping my house clean. It's not that messy, but it is always dusty and the laundry is always piling up and oh, my office...sigh.
- I don't cook. I can cook, but I don't very often. Anthony does most of the cooking and when he is gone, I cheat with things like chicken nuggets, something or other in a tortilla, or mac-n-cheese.
- Sometimes, when I could get down and play a game with one of the kiddos, I say I can't and end up playing a game on my computer by myself instead.
And there are so many others.
But the thing is that I feel like I am expected to be Super Mom. People may not think they expect that, but they do. I mean, if I wasn't a Super Mom, then why the hell would I have so many kids? And why would I want to adopt another? Why would I do it if I couldn't always do it all with grace and a smile on my face? Taking five kids, ages 9 and under, to an evening softball practice should be a fun adventure, right?
I guess I just want to not have to do it all and just to do my best and mess up and complain sometimes (are people who never complain really in touch with reality?!) and enjoy my successes.
I just want to be a mom and leave the cape in the dress-up clothes.